Skip to main content

Trash Panda Likes Them Apples: Making Apple Butter

It is fall in Seattle and the apples are coming ripe. Soooo many apples. Pressing cider is kind of a pain in the ass, and so is baking pie, so what the fuck are you supposed to do with all these apples? I don’t know about you, but I make apple butter.

Fruit butters are fruits cooked down into a spreadable paste and maybe spices and sweetened. With apples it’s as if you cooked down applesauce some more. More fiber-y tree fruits like plums, apricots and pears also work for fruit butter.

The raccoon Molly eating apples fresh from the tree - 07/10/07 - photo by Gaby Muller.

Trash Panda’s Real Easy Apple Butter

INGREDIENTS:

  • Apples, water (or maybe Apple Cider or Apple Cider Vinegar) 
  • Optional: Tasty apples spices like cinnamon or nutmeg, sweetener of choice

TOOLS: 

  • Knife and cutting board, slow cooker or just a big pot
  • Optional but real useful: something to blend everything up at the end (i.e. immersion blender) or something to sieve out the bits you don't want in there (i.e. food mill)

STEPS:

  • Core and cut up a bunch of apples, enough to fill up your pot or slow cooker most of the way. Remove any rot or bad bug damage, but you can leave in imperfections and bruised bits
    • If you've got a blender or food mill of some kind, don't worry about peeling the apples. 
    • If you don't, you best peel the apples. The peels don't cook down, and you end up with these poky rolls of peel that are distributed throughout the butter like little land mines for your mouth
  • Chuck the apple chunks into your pot/ slow cooker, along with a cup or two of water or other delicious liquid
  • Let is cook for awhile. To really let it cook down, I'd say let it bubble for 4-6 hrs, 8-10 if you're feeling feisty
    • Set your slow cooker to high to start if you're able to keep an eye on it, and turn it down to low once it's gotten nice and hot and started to bubble a bit. I've left it to cook overnight lots of times and felt pretty comfortable with it, as long as it's set to low and there's a good amount of liquid to start
    • Set your stove on low and keep the apples simmering. You've got to keep an eye on them more if you're cooking them on the stovetop, so please don't leave them cooking overnight while you sleep
  • At some point, blend or mash up those apples
    • Skin on: run an immersion blender through them while they're in the pot, just be careful not to splash yourself with apple lava. Or let them cool a bit, then run them through a blender, food processor, or a food mill
    • Skin off: squishing them with a potato masher will do the job
  • Let the apples cook down to a good spreadable thickness. You decide what works for you, but I let them cook down a few hours more past the applesauce stage
  • Add spices or sweetener if you want. I usually add cinnamon, cloves, or Chinese Five Spice, and only sometimes add sugar or honey if it's a real tart batch of apples
  • Apple butter will keep awhile in the fridge, especially if it's got tasty spices in it. You can also freeze it or can it, and it'll keep for at least a year
======


    Comments

    Post a Comment

    Popular posts from this blog

    Dumpster Fire, Forest Fire, Easy DIY Air Purifier

    It has been a YEAR.  Trash Panda hopes you've been staying sane and safe. Well, as much as you can be in the year of our Everlasting Dumpster Fire 2020 ( Update July 2021: And the year of our Great Anxiety 2021).   Speaking of fires - today's post is about how to make a cheap & effective DIY air purifier. Depending on the rating of the filter you use, it’s good for wildfire smoke, allergens, or even viruses. Parts needed:     + 20"x20" box fan    + Furnace air filter, preferably 20"x20" and with a rating of MERV 13 or higher (more on this later)    + Tape or bungee cord Tape or use a bungee cord to attach the filter on the back/air intake of the box fan and make sure to have the little arrow on the side of the filter facing towards the fan. That's it. Just use enough tape to keep the filter on there, and try not to cover too much of the filter area with tape. You can screw on little metal brackets on the side of the fan to create a more permanent wa

    Trash Panda Likes It Hot: DIY American-Style Kotatsu

    It’s been a fucking difficult year. And now it's the holidays and it's cold out and it's still not safe to spend time inside with loved ones who're outside of your pandemic pod. If you don't have a firepit or one of those expensive outdoor propane heaters how the fuck are you supposed to make this work? Enter the Trash Panda Kotatsu. Ok, so in Japan they've got these cool coffee table looking things with a heavy blanket skirt and a special heating unit attached up underneath. You sit on a cushion, put your legs underneath and snuggle up there to keep warm during the winter. These snuggly table friends are called kotatsu.  Actual kotatsu don't really work for American outdoor winter gathering purposes during COVID because: They're real short. Like just over a foot tall. They're meant for sitting around on the ground or on a cushion. Nobody wants to do that outside during the winter because the ground is cold and wet. Also most Americans are so used

    Trash Panda for the Holidays: Catalog Christmas Cards

    In this season of mass consumption, Trash Panda likes to festively push back against the terrible capitalist machine.* I do this by creating alternative narratives for the shiny photos in holiday catalogues and turning them into collage Christmas cards.  It's nice because:  Wow are there a lot of holiday catalogues laying around Hurray, let's make something fun out of media that's trying to sell shit to us Catalogs, post-its, scissors, markers, sticky labels, pretty paper, glue sticks, GO I like to make figuring out the card captions a group activity with some of my more inventive friends since I find it easier and more fun to make alternative picture narratives collaboratively. Your mileage may vary.** Here is a curated selection from the last ten years of me making these weird-ass things:  ============ * Far be it from Trash Panda to shit all over Christmas - this raccoon loves the winter holidays. But unrestrained late-stage capitalism can kick rocks along with 2020. So,